Okay so it has been a while since I have had the opportunity to write. The past month and a half, well almost two months now have been a bit distracting. In December, a few days after Christmas, I found out I had cancer in my breast. An early cancer - but the big "C" word none-the-less.
I was completely freaked out before I received the diagnosis, but so relieved when she finally told me. I suppose the anticipation was worse for me. I am an extremely pragmatic person when it comes time to step up. So I figured out what I had to do, fought with my insurance company and finally got the surgeon I wanted. Made arrangements for help with my little girl so that she was happy someplace other than home for about 4 days. Remained positive, reassured my friends (some of which thought I was in denial because I chose to remain positive), investigated what would happen if it were worse than originally anticipated, and so on.
So fast forward to now - a few weeks after my surgery. And now I am affected. I discovered about 10 days after surgery when the steristrip fell off that I have a huge 4 inch gash on my breast. Also that my breast is significantly smaller than the other - no really trust me. My right breast is what it was like before I gave birth to my daughter and gained weight.
I know, I know I am the luckiest girl in the world. The cancer was not worse, it was found early because of the mammogram and I am diligent about getting mammograms. I have my life and I have medical insurance. I know, I know and I AM really grateful...but my sense of self is shaken.
I have this huge wound that is healing on my heart chakra. And I am taking a look at it on the metaphysical level. I HAVE A HUGE WOUND HEALING ON MY HEART CHAKRA. Maybe it is time that I heal and face those things that I have allowed to hurt my heart. I think so...
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