Says it all...doesn't it?

Beautiful people

A quote on Gossip...

MISERY

Ever wonder what it is like to be so immobilized that you could not move or dare not move. What in your life is imprisoning you - or do you even feel this way at all.

Some of my friends are imprisoned by their weight, others by their bad marriages to terrible people, others to the demons in their mind and old decisions, and yet even others that are imprisoned by their guilt of having a good life. And, then those who seem like they are looking for any reason to imprisoned by misery. I have this friend - she has a good life, great husband but she is miserable in her work, yet she stays because she wants that retirement bonus (she is barely 50). She spends hours and hours worrying if her stocks and investments are going to make it and she is a prisoner of her own fear. And this fear was around well before the financial crisis - she must be really freaked out at the moment. Is it the human condition to find something to be afraid of, something that makes our life miserable.

God does not put in front of you what you cannot deal with at the moment.

The Tibetan Heart Sutra - translation

This chant is one of the most beautiful to listen to. It is said, that when one hears the Heart Sutra that their heart opens up. If you have an opportunity to listen to it in its original language, chanted in that wonderful way that the tibetan monks do. Well it is amazing.



"When the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara."

"Was Coursing in the Deep Prajna Paramita."

"He Perceived That All Five Skandhas Are Empty."

"Thus He Overcame All Ills and Suffering."

"Oh, Sariputra, Form Does not Differ From the Void,
And the Void Does Not Differ From Form.
Form is Void and Void is Form;
The Same is True For Feelings,
Perceptions, Volitions and Consciousness."

"Sariputra, the Characteristics of the
Voidness of All Dharmas
Are Non-Arising, Non-Ceasing, Non-Defiled,
Non-Pure, Non-Increasing, Non-Decreasing."

"Therefore, in the Void There Are No Forms,
No Feelings, Perceptions, Volitions or Consciousness."

"No Eye, Ear, Nose, Tongue, Body or Mind;
No Form, Sound, Smell, Taste, Touch or Mind Object;
No Realm of the Eye,
Until We Come to No realm of Consciousness."

"No ignorance and Also No Ending of Ignorance,
Until We Come to No Old Age and Death and
No Ending of Old Age and Death."

"Also, There is No Truth of Suffering,
Of the Cause of Suffering,
Of the Cessation of Suffering, Nor of the Path."

"There is No Wisdom, and There is No Attainment Whatsoever."

"Because There is Nothing to Be Attained,
The Bodhisattva Relying On Prajna Paramita Has
No Obstruction in His Mind."

"Because There is No Obstruction, He Has no Fear,"

"And He passes Far Beyond Confused Imagination."

"And Reaches Ultimate Nirvana."

"The Buddhas of the Past, Present and Future,
By Relying on Prajna Paramita
Have Attained Supreme Enlightenment."

"Therefore, the Prajna Paramita is the Great Magic Spell,
The Spell of Illumination, the Supreme Spell,
Which Can Truly Protect One From All Suffering Without Fail."

"Therefore He Uttered the Spell of Prajnaparmita,
Saying Gate, Gate, Paragate, Parasamgate, Bodhi Svaha."

Breast Surgery Hurts then it Sucks...then the AH HA

Okay so it has been a while since I have had the opportunity to write. The past month and a half, well almost two months now have been a bit distracting. In December, a few days after Christmas, I found out I had cancer in my breast. An early cancer - but the big "C" word none-the-less.

I was completely freaked out before I received the diagnosis, but so relieved when she finally told me. I suppose the anticipation was worse for me. I am an extremely pragmatic person when it comes time to step up. So I figured out what I had to do, fought with my insurance company and finally got the surgeon I wanted. Made arrangements for help with my little girl so that she was happy someplace other than home for about 4 days. Remained positive, reassured my friends (some of which thought I was in denial because I chose to remain positive), investigated what would happen if it were worse than originally anticipated, and so on.

So fast forward to now - a few weeks after my surgery. And now I am affected. I discovered about 10 days after surgery when the steristrip fell off that I have a huge 4 inch gash on my breast. Also that my breast is significantly smaller than the other - no really trust me. My right breast is what it was like before I gave birth to my daughter and gained weight.

I know, I know I am the luckiest girl in the world. The cancer was not worse, it was found early because of the mammogram and I am diligent about getting mammograms. I have my life and I have medical insurance. I know, I know and I AM really grateful...but my sense of self is shaken.

I have this huge wound that is healing on my heart chakra. And I am taking a look at it on the metaphysical level. I HAVE A HUGE WOUND HEALING ON MY HEART CHAKRA. Maybe it is time that I heal and face those things that I have allowed to hurt my heart. I think so...